Acrophobia Homepage

Question: How do i tell my boyfriend that i have acrophobia?

(Posted by: Kiana on 2008-02-03 14:36:30)

About a year and a half ago, a rock climbing incident caused me to develop a pathalogical fear of heights. Now I have a boyfriend who wants to do stuff like go to the Space Needle and play on esclators. I know I should tell him, but I can't even think about it, let alone bring it up, without my heart pounding and my whole body shaking. What should I do?

Posted by: Ogou on 2008-02-03, 16:34:22

Sounds like that was some rock climbing event if even talking about it causes you to re-experience they symptoms. I see where thatwould make it difficult to tell your BF. The idea of writing a letter is good, but then he really can not see how deeply this has affected you. If he is a good guy this will not be a major issue, but I see your point about him wanting to do things that invlove being up in high paces. Not shocking that your adventurious spirit has you going out with an adventurious fellow. Sounds like dealing with this is a new moutain for you to challange. Is there a hurry in telling him? Perhaps you can spend a week practicing telling him in your head and then out loud. Don't push yourself and when you get bothered, stop and relax. This is a technigue used by many cognitive/ behavioral psychologists. Th more you do this practice/ relaxation, the less you will panic when you talk about it. Then you can tell him without the fear of going a bit overboard (I think that is the thing you fear here: lookiing out of control)

Posted by: blueeyes_unever_4get on 2008-02-03, 14:41:14

Try and be honest with him. Let him know you were traumatized by your rock climbing incident. Then, you may need to find some courage to face your fears. Go slow and start trying things out again. Good Luck.

Posted by: Nikki on 2008-02-03, 14:41:30

Just tell him the truth instead of making it worse for yourself. Be honest. Better that then keeping it from him. Don't worry, just tell him.

Posted by: Gorgonzola Cheese on 2008-02-03, 14:42:15

Just be straightforward. Tell him that you're scared to death to do that stuff and you can't do it with him any more. If he gives half a whit about you (and I certainly hope he does) then he will understand.

Posted by: lysistrata411 on 2008-02-03, 14:43:22

If it's hard to talk about aloud why not write him a letter and explain it to him that way. I don't think he should have a problem with you having acrophobia... there are so many other things you guys can do together. Good luck!

Posted by: phsychotix on 2008-02-03, 14:43:39

What wrong with being afraid of heights? i had the same problem, bad fall, now im afraid to be above 12 feet above the ground, but heres my advice to you, dont be scared and tell your bf that ytour afraid of heights. or you can go and just not look down, either way if your afraid of tellnig your bf anything then im guessing you dont think very highly of him

Posted by: charlton_g_w on 2008-02-03, 14:53:38

Easy to get over/ through. if it was one event in your adulthood that is the causal factor, go get half a dozen sessions of hypnosis. any hypnotherapist worth their salt should be able to help you to completely remove this fear. cw ps: i am such a therapist see hypnotherapy-psychotherapy.com/

Posted by: Satan's avatar on 2008-02-03, 14:56:15

You have to tell him, he is probably still doing things from heights because he does't know that you don't like them any more. Let him know your fear. That's what a relationship is in my eyes, being able to tell the person you feel for everything about yourself. Everything will work out for the best ;) your friendly devil

Posted by: noel_1939 on 2008-02-03, 15:19:55

Just tell him..........................