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Question: I have a big question about fears!?

(Posted by: OLTLandWWEareAWSOME on 2010-07-30 21:07:14)

Ok, my grandpa has Alzheimer's, and when ever i think of him or my grandma dying, my eyes well up and my chest feels tight, and i think that i just want to keep them next to me at all time's and not let them die, my head spins and i can't think of hardly anything else for a long time, i don't want to die, and i don't want my family to die, because it seems to painful to see them there.....i want to know, what kinda fear this is, and how do i over come it, because i know it's going to happen, but i Always cry and feel like the world is collapsing whenever i think about it....

Posted by: humpty dumpty on 2010-07-30, 21:21:27

Everyone reaches an age where they are suddenly confronted with death. You have reached that age. Almost everyone on earth has had at one time or another a fear of death. This is fear of the unknown. Everyone that lives also dies. It is the end of the cycle. Alzheimer's is a hard disease to deal with - but not a painful death usually. I think it would be good to talk to your grandmother about how you feel. Sometimes our grandparents know things from living years longer than we have and can help us with grief. It will also be good for you to be there for her. A teacher named Ram Dass said that dying is really just like slipping off a shoe that is too tight. He meant that then a spirit can soar free. Of course you have to find your own beliefs, but this one comforts me.

Posted by: Brian W~ on 2010-07-30, 21:18:24

The fear of losing someone or something always comes across someones mind sometime in their life. The fact that being without them for the rest of time makes you believe that life will never return to normal because you lost a vital person to your lifestyle. But that is not true. To overcome the fear of losing someone or something close to you, you must always look in a positive direction. I lost my grandpa to prostate cancer a few years back and I was torn in tears, but as time grew past his death, I became to realize that there is always hope on the other side. Even if the future may look gloomy, you have a whole life of adventure and relationships to look forward to. Though your grandfather wouldn't be alive doesn't mean he's gone forever, he is still in your heart and will guide you to make decisions in your life because he has affected you into being the person that you are today. Be strong and believe that your future will be prosperous and you will slowly but surely come to truth that everything comes to an end sometime and that it doesn't have to always be mournful.

Posted by: Bob on 2010-07-30, 21:24:19

The tight chest is a result of anxiety. Know that worrying about death isn't going to change the future. Your job is to love the people in your life while you can, and be there for them. I'm not convinced that they would like it if they knew you were going through this. If you have a pastor you might mention this to him. If not try talking to a school counselor, or better yet the school psychologist.

Posted by: JB007 on 2010-07-30, 21:43:46

It helps to talk. One thing for sure is you feel bad because you're dwelling on the fact that your grandpa is old and you don't want him passing on. You feel sad but you gotta understand that it's not about that. It's about the good times you had and shared and ALL those good moments should not come in the way of 1bad thought. Live your life to the fullest(I'm sure like he did). You should be happy you're still with him. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye or see my grandmother before she passed on. Don't bottle up your emotions(from my experience, it caused emotional stress/ anxiety/ depression). I let it get to me so bad i went to a doctor. You can avoid going to a doctor. It helps to talk and let your emotions out. Be glad that you have good memories to share and when you see him, just let him know(let it all out) and enjoy your bond.